Well friends, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but chivalry is officially dead. We live in a world of hooking up and sexting, where real dating is practically non existent anymore. No longer do guys nervously stand by a girls locker, hands sweating, just waiting to ask her out. Instead we rely on texts and social media to do the dirty work. I grew up watching movies such as The Notebook, where Noah wrote Allie 365 letters....and I can't even get a guy to answer my text?! Seriously....what happened to dating?
I think people have become scared of the title of dating. Every day I hear my friends say "oh we just have a thing" or "we just hook up" or "we are friends with benefits." And I can't help wonder why it is so easy for people to have sex, yet shy away from the idea of dating someone. You never hear people talking about how many people they have had relationships, but rather how many people they have slept with. The whole friends with benefits phenomenon has taken over, people are too scared of commitment but they still want sex out of it. Sex is supposed to be something reserved for the person you love and are in a relationship with, but today it is far from that. Everyone wants love like in the movies, but no one is actually willing to put in the work to get it. Dating involves trust and taking risks, and that's something that is definitely lacking today. Also, another issue is no one wants to be exclusive and date one person, when they could just sleep around. People have become so scared of commitment so they shy away. I don't know about you, but I wish the concept of dating could go back in time because the way it has developed is pathetic.
Social media has also crushed the art of dating. Why would people go out and meet someone and go on dates when there are apps like Tinder? People hide behind their phones and computers and try to find someone on social media. I mean how superficial can we get? Swiping "yes" and "no" on someone based on their appearance, not even knowing their favorite song or what they are passionate about; this is what dating has become. It's easier to sit on your phone rather than putting yourself out there, but when has love ever been easy? Rejection has become such a huge fear that it stops people from putting themselves out there. Hell, I know I'm guilty of being scared of being rejected. But if you think about it, I would rather be bold, put myself out there, and get rejected, than to never even try. Dating builds character, and helps you grow and mature and gets you ready for that one person you are meant to be with, but social media has slowed down this process. We need to stop swiping, and start getting out there and meeting people face to face, finding out what makes them tick and what you have in common, that's how relationships are built.
Also, somehow being single is promoted toady as the best thing in the whole world. I mean sure, being single can be fun and wild and you can live your life, but there is a certain stigma involved with settling down. We have spent so much time telling people it is okay to be single, that now people just don't want to be in relationships because being single looks like so much fun. A lot of people have the mindset that if you are dating someone, you are tied down and can no longer have fun, which is ridiculous. If you are dating the right person then having a good time and being yourself and living your life should not be a problem. I feel like a lot of single people are scared to put themselves out there, or feel like they don't need someone else. Well let me tell you, as much as we hate to admit it, we all need someone. Sure being single is fun, but at the end of the day don't you want someone who loves you unconditionally? Be single have fun, but don't run from the idea of dating when it comes around.
So as an 18 year old girl in today's society this is how I feel about the whole dating issue. I feel like dating has been replaced by meaningless sex and that chivalry has been crushed with things like sexting and Tinder. I think our generation needs to quit being so scared of dating, we have all seen the movies and heard the songs, who wouldn't want that? Also, it's not "cool" to just have sex with a ton of people, want to know what's cool? It's "cool" to find someone who you love and date them and treat them right, that's pretty fucking cool if you ask me. Let's bring back old fashioned dating and prove that we are capable of love and being in relationships. Take a risk, who knows who you may meet. Don't hide behind your screen anymore, love is out there, all you have to do is look for it.
I think people have become scared of the title of dating. Every day I hear my friends say "oh we just have a thing" or "we just hook up" or "we are friends with benefits." And I can't help wonder why it is so easy for people to have sex, yet shy away from the idea of dating someone. You never hear people talking about how many people they have had relationships, but rather how many people they have slept with. The whole friends with benefits phenomenon has taken over, people are too scared of commitment but they still want sex out of it. Sex is supposed to be something reserved for the person you love and are in a relationship with, but today it is far from that. Everyone wants love like in the movies, but no one is actually willing to put in the work to get it. Dating involves trust and taking risks, and that's something that is definitely lacking today. Also, another issue is no one wants to be exclusive and date one person, when they could just sleep around. People have become so scared of commitment so they shy away. I don't know about you, but I wish the concept of dating could go back in time because the way it has developed is pathetic.
Social media has also crushed the art of dating. Why would people go out and meet someone and go on dates when there are apps like Tinder? People hide behind their phones and computers and try to find someone on social media. I mean how superficial can we get? Swiping "yes" and "no" on someone based on their appearance, not even knowing their favorite song or what they are passionate about; this is what dating has become. It's easier to sit on your phone rather than putting yourself out there, but when has love ever been easy? Rejection has become such a huge fear that it stops people from putting themselves out there. Hell, I know I'm guilty of being scared of being rejected. But if you think about it, I would rather be bold, put myself out there, and get rejected, than to never even try. Dating builds character, and helps you grow and mature and gets you ready for that one person you are meant to be with, but social media has slowed down this process. We need to stop swiping, and start getting out there and meeting people face to face, finding out what makes them tick and what you have in common, that's how relationships are built.
Also, somehow being single is promoted toady as the best thing in the whole world. I mean sure, being single can be fun and wild and you can live your life, but there is a certain stigma involved with settling down. We have spent so much time telling people it is okay to be single, that now people just don't want to be in relationships because being single looks like so much fun. A lot of people have the mindset that if you are dating someone, you are tied down and can no longer have fun, which is ridiculous. If you are dating the right person then having a good time and being yourself and living your life should not be a problem. I feel like a lot of single people are scared to put themselves out there, or feel like they don't need someone else. Well let me tell you, as much as we hate to admit it, we all need someone. Sure being single is fun, but at the end of the day don't you want someone who loves you unconditionally? Be single have fun, but don't run from the idea of dating when it comes around.
So as an 18 year old girl in today's society this is how I feel about the whole dating issue. I feel like dating has been replaced by meaningless sex and that chivalry has been crushed with things like sexting and Tinder. I think our generation needs to quit being so scared of dating, we have all seen the movies and heard the songs, who wouldn't want that? Also, it's not "cool" to just have sex with a ton of people, want to know what's cool? It's "cool" to find someone who you love and date them and treat them right, that's pretty fucking cool if you ask me. Let's bring back old fashioned dating and prove that we are capable of love and being in relationships. Take a risk, who knows who you may meet. Don't hide behind your screen anymore, love is out there, all you have to do is look for it.
Sighs....where is the love?
Love Always,
Olivia Jane
Love Always,
Olivia Jane
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