Home isn't a town, or a place on a map. It can't be located on a GPS and there are no directions to this place. Home is wherever all the people you love are, and where you are all together. Not a place, but a string of moments with people who make you feel like you belong, that is what home is to me. When I think about "going home" I don't envision opening my pantry or lying on my couch, I picture embracing my friends and laughing until tears form in my eyes. I picture going to work with my favorite people in the entire world and going out after till the early hours in the morning and not giving a shit if I'm tired. Home is at the beach, sitting next to all of your closest friends and not having to talk because you are comfortable with just enjoying the silence. Home is missing your yoga studio, not just because of your love for yoga, but because of your love of your friends there and because they make you feel loved and important.
What I'm trying to say is, home is people, and if you don't have good people then you will never feel at home. I never did, for most of my life I just had this constant feeling that I wanted to go home, and then I realized I was, and it was the worst feeling in the entire world because I realized my longing for home was just me longing for people who love me. I never felt like I was home in the winters, because all my work and summer friends were gone and even though I was technically in the same place, everything was different and everything was missing. But this year, I finally saw what home was. I met extraordinary, life changing people, who make me not want to leave, ever. I can finally say I feel at home, because I've surrounded myself with people who make me feel like I'm enough. Home is a safe place, where you can always run to and will never be judged or questioned.
A house is not a home, a town is not a home, and a state is not a home. It's the people you find within these places that make you feel at home, like you could go anywhere in the world and as long as these people were there it would be okay. And when I think about leaving for college in 23 days (Eek!), the only thing I am sad about leaving is the people who have made me feel at home when everything else was going wrong. But the most magical part about it is that everyone will leave this sweet bliss of summer, go their own ways and live their lives, but deep down we all know we have a home to come back to, and it is each other.
So when people ask me "are you going to miss home?", my answer is this: I will not miss my house, or my favorite restaurant, and I will not miss my car or my shower. What I will miss? I will miss late night heart to hearts, crying in the beer fridge at work, driving without a clue where we are going, and watching the sunsets. I'll miss going to yoga, and the hugs, laughter, and chatter that went on before and after classes. I will miss my home, but not the kind everyone thinks.
Where is your home?