A Letter to My Future Self

Dear 30 Year Old Olivia,
I write this letter to you at 18 years old on a rainy Wednesday afternoon from my dorm room. As a freshman in college I've been thinking a lot about the future and how I want it to look and who I want to be, so that's why I decided to write this letter today. So, here is what I have to say to my future self.

By now you've learned that nothing is as bad as it seems. And everything you thought would be the end of the world wasn't, you are still alive and breathing. I hope you can reflect and realize that everything happened for a reason, and your struggles are what turned you into the fabulous person you are today. Use your past experiences to help you in the future, and know that everything will work out in the end. There were so many times you questioned if you'd make it, but here you are. Reading this proves you have been strong enough to get to this point and that you have the strength to go on.

I wonder who you are still friends with. Do you still talk to your high school crew? And if not, why? If there's an old friend you haven't talked to in a while, do your younger self a favor and please call them. A lot of fun was had at those high school lunch tables, and so many valuable friendships were gained, I hope you still keep in touch.Which relationships stuck and which ones didn't work out? Also, I hope you are still friends with your Chart Room friends, because those were your favorite people in the whole world. Do you remember the summers they saved you from your life? Between the 1am McDonalds trips and crying in the beer fridge, those were the glory days. They changed your teenage world and some serious hell was raised and some good times were had. Don't forget about them, I'd like to think you still talk to them frequently. If not, reach out, please hangout with them soon, because I bet you miss them. How about your college friends? Who stayed by your side? And as for the friendships you continue to make, don't keep any toxic people in your life. You spent so many years tolerating toxic relationships and I hope you realized you don't deserve that anymore. Spend time with people who make you glad you're alive.

Did you follow your heart to New York City? Is it everything you imagined it would be? I like to think that's where I'll be living at age 30. I hope you are doing something you love, and if you aren't then quit and find something else, life is too short to waste time on a job that makes you unhappy. Are you working for a magazine or TV station? Or did you realize that wasn't what you wanted at all? I know that no matter what you followed your gut, and it's never been wrong before, so trust in that. I hope that you are doing what you want to do and living for yourself, because you spent so long trying to please others. You've always been a people pleaser, but I hope you have finally learned pleasing yourself is the only think that matters. Follow your heart and your passion and you will always be going in the right direction. 

I really hope you are still writing, and if not, you better start again right now. Do you remember when you first started writing for the Inside Scoop at Morse Pond in the 5th grade? You always had such a talent and love for writing. I like to think you are still blogging (maybe on olivinthelife?!), and that you are still writing for fun. Your voice matters and it is relevant, and you have something important to offer the world. Never stop writing, it has always been something you could count on. I hope you are still journaling and writing poetry as well. Did you ever write that book like you said you wanted to? If not, do it now. You have the ideas and the drive, write the book for that 16 year old girl with the dream in her head. The world deserves to hear what you have to say. What's holding you back? Stop making excuses and follow your dreams, there's nothing to lose.

Speaking of hobbies, you better still be practicing yoga. Remember your first class ever at the end of freshman year? If for some crazy reason you have strayed from yoga, do yourself a favor and get to the nearest studio ASAP. But if I were to guess it is my hope that you are still practicing regularly. Yoga changed things for you, it was there for you when nothing else was. When you practice now, remember how you felt when you would escape your hectic high school life and find peace in the studio. Don't forget about the people you met along the way either, they were your favorite people and they had a huge impact on you. I'm hopeful that you still keep in touch with them and maybe even visit your old studio, but if not then reach out soon and reminisce. No matter where you go in life yoga will always be there for you, don't neglect it. I bet you can probably do headstands and other crazy inversions I can only dream of right now, be sure to remember all the hard work it took to get there. And when everything turns to shit(as it sometimes does), allow yourself to retreat to your mat and take care of yourself. Don't forget to read some Pema Chodron every once in a while, she always knows what to say in times of need.

I hope you have finally learned to love yourself my dear. I hope that when you look in the mirror you love what you see. I hope you've stopped the crazy diets and the obsessive exercise. I hope you have deleted the calorie counter once and for all. You spent so long disliking yourself, and why? Please stop making negative comments and jokes about yourself, your favorite defensive mechanism. But writing this I have a hunch that you have overcome it all. By loving yourself I hope it helped you welcome the love of others, and that you've found people who love you for who you are. Never settle for less than you deserve. Believe you deserve to be loved, and allow someone to love you as much as you love yourself. Wake up every morning and love yourself to make up for all the days you did not.

But most of all Olivia, I hope you are happy. I hope that you have fallen in love with yourself and your life. I hope you smile till your cheeks hurt and laugh until you cry. I hope you are finally happy because you deserve it. No matter where life takes you be sure you are doing whatever makes you happy. Don't let other people dictate your happiness because they will drop it every time. Be happy because you can. Do it for the sophomore year you who cried every day after school, for the younger you who wondered if happiness even existed. Be proof that happiness does exist. And whatever it is that is making you happy, hold on to it for dear life.

And lastly, make me proud. Remember the little girl with hopeful blue eyes and blonde curls who just wanted to grow up, don't let her down. Do everything you do with your heart and soul and you can't go wrong. Be proud of yourself for making it this far and accomplishing so much. It's okay to stumble and make mistakes, but picking yourself up and moving on is what is important. And when you feel like you can't go on and life is falling apart, remember how far you have come. Don't forget who you are and where you came from.

Stay true to yourself and don't change for anybody. Continue to shine like the star you are and always have been and always will be. 

Love Always,
18 Year Old Olivia

It's easy to think that someone else has it better or easier than you do, it's easy to be jealous of someone else's life and wish your life was different. So often we imagine others lives are a million times better than our own, and we envy their lives, when in reality all we see is what is on the surface. But I find that even more than envying others, we judge them so harshly. We judge people by what they wear, their social media, their hobbies, or how they act on a daily basis, and this is so incredibly unfair. There is more to everyone than meets the eye, and the grass surely is not always greener on the other side.

That beautiful, flawless girl, who is always laughing in your math class, and you sit there thinking how perfect she is and how you wish you were just like her. Or you sit their thinking she is a stuck up bitch because of her Jcrew outfits and Lilly Pulitzer agenda book, rolling your eyes each time she speaks. You follow her on Instagram and it proves your vision of her, regardless of which one it is. But what you don't know? She takes antidepressants every morning before math class, and she laughs so much because she doesn't want people to know the truth. She wears nice clothes because she is overcoming an eating disorder and she is trying to hard to feel good about herself for the first time in her life. Her life is not perfect, in fact, she cries herself to sleep every night but she would rather die than have anyone know, so she puts on the act that you see everyday. That's the danger of a single story. You never know what someone is going through, because the way someone presents themselves every day is not how they are behind closed doors.

Or how about that jock in your English class? The one who all the guys secretly look up to, wishing they were as athletic as him. The one the girls swoon over and desperately want to date. Or maybe you look at him and call him "that jerk in your english class," because you think he is the biggest tool around and that he's a total player. What you don't know? The only reason he started playing sports was to escape his abusive household, and he needed somewhere to let out his aggression. He is still a virgin because he is scarred after his parents messy relationship and divorce. It is impossible for anyone to know what someone has gone through or what they are currently dealing with. 

We are so quick to cast negative or positive judgements on the people we meet and it does absolutely no good. People cast these same judgements on us too. On numerous occasions I've had people tell me I have the "perfect life" or they "wish they were me" and honestly I laugh because it is so far from the truth. I sit here and write this blog, and I am relatively open, but there are certain things that no one would ever know from looking at me, or even being my friend, so I cannot stress enough how you don't really know someone's life until you walk in their shoes. I know there are some people who I personally admire and at times think "wow I wish I were more like them," but then I realize how I feel when people have said that to me. The people I admire have no doubt had their fair share of struggles and their lives are no more perfect than mine is. And the reason I point out these observations is because I feel as though it's so important to be aware of the rawness of others lives.

Nothing is ever like it seems. Instead of judging others, or wishing you were someone else, just love yourself and love others. Replace judgement with understanding. Understand that there is more to people than what is on the surface, and dare to dive deeper into the lives of those that matter to you. And most of all, be kind. It's honestly so simple. A smile, a friendly hello. We encounter hundreds or maybe thousands of people a day, and each one is dealing with their own struggles. Stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side, because honestly we are all just trying to keep our own lawns as green as possible. But sometimes the weeds get overgrown, and the luscious green lawn gets a bit brown and dry, and it's the same with people. What may seem perfect, takes a lot of maintenance to keep up with, and sometimes it gets a little messy and hard to manage. 

Don't judge a book by it's cover and focus on watering your own grass.


Love Always, 
Olivia Jane

Sometimes life is crazy, hectic, chaotic and just plain overwhelming, and giving up seems like the only option. However, as Dory says in Finding Nemo, when life becomes too much to bear all you have to do is "just keep swimming." I find this motto to be true in my own life, and I feel as though others should live by it as well.

No matter how bad things get, or how stressed out you may be, you just have to keep going and push through. We often feel as though we can't go on, but how many times have you thought that in the past? I know I've thought a million times that there's no possible way I can make it through a situation, but here I am, and somehow everything managed to work out. If you think about it, there is really no other option than to just keep swimming, just keep moving, even if you aren't sure what the hell you are doing or where you are going. As long as you keep moving everything is going to be okay and you will make it out of whatever mess you are in. Trust in the fact that everything will be okay, and if it's not okay it's not the end.

Whether we think we can do it or not, the sun is going to rise and set every day and life is going to go on. We are so much stronger than we think we are. As one of my favorite songs says "if you're going through hell, keep on going." You really have no choice if you think about it, you wake up every morning with the choice to let your life take control of you, or to take control of your life. Don't just survive, live. Life is going to throw so much bullshit at you, and you have to pick your head up and just tell yourself to keep swimming. Swimming isn't easy, sometimes you have to go against the current and fight hard to stay afloat, but eventually you make it to shore and are stronger because of it.

Life can feel like you are drowning a lot. Sometimes I feel like I've been thrown into the ocean with rocks tied to my feet and everything is surrounding me and suffocating me to death. But somehow I always manage to find my way to the surface and can breathe again, and you can too. No matter how hectic or out of control things may seem, just choose to swim instead of sink.

Do you ever feel like you are drowning? 

Love Always,
Olivia Jane

Ode to NYC
Oh New York City, how I love you so
you never cease to amaze me each time I go
between the hustle and bustle of the city flow
and all the skyscrapers always standing tall
how could you not simply adore it all?

Some would call it a loud mess
but that's what makes me like it best
the sleepless city that never rests
thousands of people constantly passing
sounds of honking, yelling, and laughing
a beautiful chaos that can only be found
in the concrete jungle while wandering around.

Oh New York City, nothing else can compare
to the beauty and madness and freedom in your air
you are so perfect that it just isn't fair
the city of opportunity and dreams
after one visit I was automatically on your team
I've traveled around near and far
but all of those places are simply subpar
because you New York City have captured my heart
a love that can never be torn apart
the promise and hope that you signify
will be around long after I die

Some people do not understand
why my obsession with you is so grand
if my soul were a place, it would be New York City
so loud, messy, and chaotic, but somehow still pretty
if my heart had a sound it would be taxi horns
a sound some people hate, but I adore
but what makes me love you even more
is that when with you I can never be bored
it is a pull that I cannot ignore
that keeps pulling me back to your city door.

Ode to New York City
you make me feel like I belong
there is nothing you do that could ever be wrong
Ode to New York City
you have no match in the world
and you have surely captured the heart of this Cape Cod girl.

I decided to change it up for this post today, what do you think?! Little known fact about me is that I write a lot of poetry, so I thought I'd share that with you all today! What do you think of NYC?

Love Always,
Olivia Jane

Here are a few things I have quickly learned since being at college.
1. Sleep is sacred. You sleep whenever you can, for as long as you can, wherever you can. Sleep is hard to come by, so when you have the chance you take it. Whether you pull an all nighter to do homework, or stay out at the bars the night before a 9am, sleep is limited. That's why you sleep for 14 hours on the weekends.

2. People are friendly. Unlike high school, I was surprised to find people at college are actually friendly. People are approachable and looking to meet new people and make friends. 

3. Eat whatever you want. We've all heard of the dreaded freshman 15 and almost everyone fears gaining weight at college. You're young, have the damn slice of pizza and get late night mozzarella sticks. You can only eat so many salads.

4. You have to go to class. No more "I don't feel well" and staying in and watching Law and Order SVU all day, this shit is the real deal. Professors give zero shits about how tired, sick, or hungover you are, being absent is not cool. Go to class kids.

5. No one gives a shit. No one cares what you are wearing, doing, or saying. People wear heels to class and people wear sweats to class. This is literally a judgement free zone. Do what you want, say what you want and be yourself. No more petty high school bullshit.

6. Don't let boys(or girls) be mean to you. College and actually life in general is too short to let idiots be mean to you. If a guy is a jerk to you, screw him(not literally), put on some red lipstick and move the hell on. This is college, sure you could meet your soulmate but to be honest there are probably going to be a few assholes along the way before that happens. There are plenty of fish in the sea, no need to tolerate someone who treats you poorly.

7. Don't instagram while drunk. Just don't do it. Chances are you look 100times more intoxicated than you actually are and your caption makes no sense. Sloppy isn't cute.

8. Befriend many, trust few. You're going to meet great people and make a lot of friends, but choose wisely who you decide to open up to. Some people just want to drink with you, while others will stay up till 4am crying with you. Hold onto those people who still think you're great with makeup and snot running down your face, they are true gems. If you're lucky you'll find people who you can laugh and cry with and they'll love you just the same. Don't be afraid to trust people, just not everybody. Be able to distinguish who actually cares from who is just curious.

9. Spend time alone. Yes there are thousands of people you can hangout with, but sometimes it's okay to spend some time alone. At college you are forced to be around other people 24/7 and that can be really exhausting. Stay in your room, read a book, study, watch some netflix, just take some time for yourself from time to time. Alone time is much needed.

10. Have fun. You are only young once, so live it up. Be safe and take care of yourself, but have as much fun as you possibly can. Whether fun is going to the bars, a frat party, a movie night in, ordering Chinese food, adventures, or just hanging out, do it. Do whatever makes you happy and glad you're alive and soak up every second of it. Go out Tuesday night and forget you have class the next day, wander around the closest city, make the most out of your college experience.

So there are some college lessons I've learned so far, and I'm sure there will be many more! What have you/ did you learn in college?

Love Always,
Olivia Jane

Today, I learned something. People are going to label you, however it is how you overcome those labels, that is what matters. People are going to ridicule you, and try to tear you down, but it is up to you whether you allow others opinions of you to destroy you. But what if you have been labeling yourself too?
 From day one we all have labels thrust upon us based off of where we live, how we dress, what our parents do, etc. As human beings it is almost impossible for us to not label and stereotype, it's something that comes naturally. I've been labeled my whole life, and I think all they really do is put you in a little box, when you have so much more to offer to the world. Whether we like it or not other people's thoughts about us are going to impact how we see ourselves, and that's screwed up.

I'll admit I am afraid. Afraid of not being good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough. As a girl in this world today there's so much pressure to fit society's standards. And I don't think that ever really goes away, you kind of just learn to deal with it, how to grow and learn from it, use it to better yourself. And me feeling this way, that's my own problem, it's an internal conflict that I have to cope with and overcome. But it makes me wonder, how did our opinions of ourselves come to be? Our friends, teachers, classmates, parents, all play a part in sculpting us into the person we are going to be, and also the way we see ourselves. If you hear you are not good enough too many times, eventually you will start to believe it. You cannot control what other people say or think about you, but YOU control how you react to it. Disagree, show the world that you know you're good enough. Stop being so hard on yourself, you are human, we are all perfectly imperfect and that's okay. Let go of the little voice in your head telling you that you aren't good enough, whether it is your voice, or someone else's.

Are we fixable? Are we able to put these negative thoughts to rest? Are we as human beings able to be put back together? I think so, actually I know so. It doesn't matter how long you have been allowing yourself to feel not good enough, you can stop right now. That, is your choice and yours alone. No one can make you, no one can change your opinion of yourself, no one can brush off the meaningless comments of others, it is up to you. And if you don't? Then you're just subjecting yourself to a life of misery and suffering, and no one deserves that. This may sound stupid, but I feel it's necessary. I said earlier I'm afraid of not being good enough, but when do I ever tell myself that I AM good enough? How often do we self reflect and tell ourselves how awesome we are? I know I'm guilty of only point out my flaws, when I know I have so much more to offer. I am good enough, I am smart enough, I am pretty enough, I am me. I am unique and there is no one in this world who can replace me. Remind yourself of this daily, because I know that I sure as hell lose sight of it more than I should. Instead of tearing yourself down, pick yourself up, praise yourself, you are kind and intelligent and important, and you deserve to hear it. 

Here's what I've learned, people are going to label you. They are going to judge you, they are going to do everything in their power to try to belittle you. Don't let them, simple as that. See, those people are just jealous because they have their own battles and insecurities that make them think it is okay to rip you apart. But most importantly, go easy on yourself, you are doing the best you can with what you have, and you're going to be okay. We often think that others words are the ones we need to shelter ourselves from, that we forget to protect ourselves from our own criticisms. And at the end of the day, am I still afraid? Sure, like I said, I don't think those feelings go away, we're all afraid of something. But living in fear is no way to go through life. So believe you are good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or just enough in general, and accept nothing less. 


Today I learned something, I learned how to accept myself. People are going to think whatever they want about you, but the only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. So overcome the labels, and show the haters that their opinions are irrelevant, show the world that you love who you are, because you should. We are our own worst critics, and I can promise you that you are never as bad as you think. So label me, ridicule me, stab me in the back, none of it matters to me anymore, because the only opinion that matters is mine, and I think I'm more than good enough.


How can you overcome the labels? Are you guilty of being your own worst critic?

Love Always,
Olivia Jane

I get really frustrated when people think I should be perfect, have my life figured out, and judge me for the mistakes I have made. First of all, no human being is perfect, and no one ever will be. So why do people constantly act like everyone should have their shit together 24/7?

I am 18 years old, my whole life until this point has been whatever my parents, teachers, or coaches have told me to do. I have only graduated high school and learned whatever the required information was for me to graduate. I have only had 18 years of life experience, so to those who are quick to judge and ridicule me, I am still learning. I LOVE to learn, I really do. I am so ecstatic about the fact I have so much learning ahead of me, and I hope that it provides me with wisdom and helps me live a great life. I am going to make mistakes, I know I have made some already, some worse than others. But to be honest I really don't care! Mistakes build character and are apart of the learning process. If I didn't stumble along the way I wouldn't be where I am now. 

We are all still learning and anyone who claims otherwise is full of crap. Before last week I didn't know how to do my own laundry! But now I do, and I grew as a person because of it, even though it's a stupid simple thing. In my new classes my mind is being exposed to all sorts of information and I want to absorb every single bit of it. Something interesting I got out of my sociology class yesterday was that you cannot understand your own life until you understand the world around you. Go out there and ask questions, learn about the world, there is so much we have yet to learn. No one is ever going to have all the answers. I don't claim to even have any answers, hell I don't even know what I'm doing in an hour. And I'm perfectly okay with it. I've stopped trying to figure it all out right now, because the lessons will come with age and experiences. 

To all the people like me who feel like you have to have your shit together all the time, let it go. The best way to learn is to simply live, the rest will follow. Each experience, whether it is good or bad, shapes us and teaches us something we needed to know. I don't believe in coincidences, no matter how big the mistake, I know it is leading me to the place I need to be. We have so many teachers in our lives, our actual teachers, friends, family, colleagues, and we can learn from them in various ways. However the most important teacher in our lives is actually ourselves. No one can do it for you, you have to be able to learn from your past experiences and seek information. Ask questions, read books, self reflect, all of these things can teach you more about life and more about yourself. 

But to the people who think that at 18 years old, or even ever, that I'm supposed to have it all figured out, you are so wrong. I'm happy with tripping and falling, slowly making my way into this crazy world. It's not pretty or graceful, but it's real. I'm never going to be perfect, I'm never going to have all the answers, there are so many things I have yet to learn. Some things I never want to learn, such as anything math related. But my journey is genuine and I live my life unapologetically. If I'm seen as "a mess" or "a fuck up", that's honestly fine, because I know I am not those things. There is beauty in the realness of struggle and finding yourself. Life is all about growth, if we knew everything there was to know and never messed up there would be no point to living.

I am still learning, and sometimes it is wonderful and other times it is messy, but I keep moving. I challenge everyone to get out there and develop a thirst for knowledge and to explore the world around you. Keep and open heart and an open mind, and the rest will fall into place. Don't be scared to admit you have no fucking clue what you're doing, because honestly anyone who says otherwise is probably lying. Accept that you are still learning, and that is perfectly okay.

Can you relate? In what ways are you still learning?

Love Always,
Olivia Jane

Last night I went to a party where the theme was "drop it like it's yacht, so being a Cape Cod girl, breaking out the preppy clothing was super exciting. I had a blast, just as I have had at every party I have been to since arriving here a week ago. And even though people frown upon going out, partying, and drinking, I think it's really important to give yourself a break every once in a while. It's different for everyone, but letting loose and having fun is a crucial part to being happy in life.

I'm not going to lie, after my first couple college classes I was overwhelmed, stressed, and totally deflated. School is hard, work is hard, I mean honestly, life is hard! I was always the type of person to keep pushing and pushing myself until I literally ran myself to the ground, and it made me so miserable. I never let myself have any fun because I felt as though I didn't deserve it, or that I wasn't allowed to. And I've realized that is total bullshit. I don't care who you are, or what you are going through, everyone needs to sprinkle some fun into their lives. 

It's different for everyone. I'm not saying you all need to go out and party to have fun, because that's not true. For me, that makes me happy, it makes me forget about the stresses of my life and just enjoy the little things for a while. I love being able to have fun and spend time with genuine people who love having a good time as much as I do. After a long day, it's so nice to be able to let go and surround myself with people who make me laugh till my stomach hurts and who remind me about the good in life. Maybe it's going out, reading, working out, writing, whatever it is find it, and incorporate it into your life. You have one fucking life. Do you want to look back and realize you were stressed, anxious, or unhappy? There will be a day when you wish you could've done and experienced more. I don't want that to be me. I want to feel like I got the most out of my life that I possibly could. I want to know that I had a hell of a good time and I don't regret a second of it. 

The hardest part is cutting yourself some slack. Who gives a shit if it's a Tuesday night and you have class in the morning? You are only young once. Stay out late, eat whatever the hell you want, embrace your fucking life. We all work so hard day to day, trying to prove ourselves to the world and trying to be the best that we can be. But that all gets pretty damn exhausting. I don't exist to impress the world, I don't live my life to please other people, I go about my life in a way that is going to make me happy, and that's all that matters. So judge me, ridicule me, I really don't care. I'm having fun, and I am loving every second of it. Get out there and kick back and just have a good time, however that may look for you, because one day you will be wishing for it all back.

Yes, I'm at college, and I need to work hard and study. But work hard, play hard, am I right? I'm not saying to disregard all responsibility, all I'm saying is that sometimes girls just wanna have fun, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Find the fun in life, and live a life you enjoy before it's over.

How do you have fun? Below are pictures from the party with some fantastic ladies I've met at school! One of the best nights I've ever had!

Love Always,
Olivia Jane

Dear High School Friends,
That time has come where we have all gone our separate ways and said our goodbyes until we meet again on our first college break. We have all moved into our dorms and started making new friends, excited for what college has in store for all of us. But as I start making memories with new people, I can't help but remember the people who I made my first memories with, and who shaped me into the person I am today. There will be inside jokes no one else will understand, and stories that "you just had to be there" for, and crazy teachers that sound like they are surely made up. No one will ever understand the first 18 years of your life like your high school friends. So, to the people who saw me at my best, and at my worst, this one is for you.

Thank you for making those four years of hell somehow feel as though they were not that bad. We laughed together, cried together, and everything in between. Thank you for still being my friend during that horrific black eye shadow phase, and for finally telling me that it was not a good look. You were always there to high five when we both failed a test, or to mutter "there's your boyfriend" when that idiot in one of our classes passed by. We spent every day for four years together, and some of us even our whole school career. I'll never forget the lunch time chats, hallway passings, and late night drives. Thank you for embracing my craziness and supporting whatever crazy antics I was always up to. When I look back I realize we wasted so much time, and we took each other for granted. We thought it would always be the way it was, that things would never change. But here we are hundreds of miles apart, and all we have are the pictures to remember everything we have done together. Those times that we knew in the moment were good times, now I realize they were the best times, because we were young and invincible. 

But it wasn't all good times, let's not get too crazy. Thank you for not making fun of my ugly crying face too much, and for always making me laugh when life was a total bitch. Thank you for holding my hair while I puked and not taking videos of my drunken ass. Also, thank you for not giving me (too) much shit in the morning, but laughing about it with me weeks later. Though we sometimes had a difference of opinion, it never took away from our friendships. The days we thought we would surely die at field hockey and lacrosse practice seemed to be rock bottom, but looking back it was never that bad. You were always there dying with me in sprints, and refusing to run anymore even though we never actually followed through on it. High school could get pretty rough, and it would have been much worse without a group of solid friends to make it less shitty. We complained, oh hell we complained so much, but nothing was ever as bad as we made it out to be. We're all still here, still breathing, and still friends.

I've said a lot of thank you's, but there should also be some I'm sorry's. I'm sorry for the days when I was a bad friend, and I'm sorry for not always listening to your advice. I'm sorry I wasn't always honest or for keeping secrets, but that was about me and not about you. I'm sorry you had to deal with me when I was PMSing or just being a total bitch. I apologize for anything hurtful I ever said, and I'm sure we all had our fair share of shit talking that we regret. But most of all I'm sorry I took our time together for granted, because it ended in the blink of an eye and I find myself wanting it back.

To my high school friends, I never thought I would miss you as much as I do. We had a hell of a run though, had some laughs, and raised some hell. We left our mark, that's for sure. But if there's one thing I want to say to you guys, here it is. Good luck with whatever you do in life, chase your dreams and follow your heart, and I believe in you 100%. If you think about it, none of us would be who or where we are today without each other. We brought out each others strengths and weaknesses and encouraged each other in these new endeavors. No matter where we go, or how many years go by, you will always be remembered fondly as my high school friends. The stories will be held close, and told to new friends. The pictures will be on walls or in throwback instagram posts. And though we live different lives now, when we reunite it will be like nothing has changed at all, because we will always be part of each others lives. Thank you for it all, because no one will ever understand you quite like your high school friends do.

During it I had no clue how the hell we were going to make it, but now I know that we made it with a little help from each other. So while you're going to parties and making new friends, remember where you came from and who it all began with. It was real, it was fun, and it was really, really fun. To my high school friends, kill it at whatever you do, and don't forget about me bitches.

Love Always,
Your High School (and forever) Friend
Olivia Jane