Life is honestly one big cluster fuck. There are good days and bad days, and a lot of days in between. That's why good friends are crucial in order to get through life. I'm not talking about people you chat with or see at parties, I'm talking about your true, genuine friends. If you are lucky enough to have people in your life that love you unconditionally you should cherish them.

You're going to have a lot of acquaintances in your life, and you're going to make a lot of friends. But the good friends are going to go above and beyond the average person. These friends I'm talking about are the ones who know your deepest secrets and don't judge you for how screwed up you are, but actually love you even more for it. Good friends will answer you at 3am and drop whatever they are doing to talk to you. Find the people who will come over in the middle of the night to climb into your bed with you and dry your tears and tell you that everything is going to be okay. Real friends will laugh with you as much as they cry with you. They will see you at your best and worst and still think you're amazing. These people are what keep me going every day.

Friends are the people who make life a little bit less shitty. I would rather have a couple close people who I knew genuinely cared about me than a ton of fake friends. Friendship to me does not just mean hanging out and laughing. Friendship is the whole package, when you become friends with someone you are signing up to be in their life through the ups and downs, you can't just trade them in when you're done with them. Sometimes a friend will leave, and honestly it hurts like hell. Friend break ups are worse than relationship break ups, because boys and girls come and go, but friends are supposed to always be there for you. And sometimes it feels like no one really cares about you and you feel alone in the dark, but I promise you that feeling will go away once you meet the right people. There are some fucking amazing people in this world, you just have to find them.

Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve the friends I have in my life. I don't know what I would do without my best friends. I take friendship very seriously because I know what it's like to feel alone and I know what it feels like to be hurt by someone who you thought was your friend. Friends are your shoulder to cry on, your helping hand, your wingman/woman, your therapist, your drinking buddy, and so much more. You spend so much of your life with your friends, make sure they are people that are worth it. 

To my friends: thank you. Thank you, thank you. I don't quite know how a few thank you's can sum up how grateful I am for you all. Thank you for dealing with my bullshit and for somehow managing to look past the fact that I am a hot mess. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to every day. I don't know what I would do without the love from my friends. From answering my late night calls to knowing my favorite songs, you are my people. Often times you love me more than I love myself and you always see my potential when I am blinded by my faults. 

Love your friends and never let them go. People will come in and out of your life, but genuine friends will last a lifetime. Life is short, make sure you spend it in good company and make memories with people who matter.

Love Always,
Olivia Jane.

Since today is the first day of second semester, I've been thinking a lot about fresh starts and new beginnings. Over break I spent a lot of time figuring out where I am in life and who I want to be. I did things that made me happy with people who made me happy and realized which relationships in my life are important and which ones are not. I came to a lot of realizations, but once you know what you want to change, getting there is the hardest part. I feel as though a lot of people know what they want in life and who they want to be, but they just don't know where to start.

I found this quote the other day, it says, "Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling, but start. Start and don't stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just...start." -Ijeoma Umebinyuo

This quote really struck me. There's no reason you cannot start fresh right now. Life is hard, and change sure as hell isn't easy, but the outcome is worth the fight. Wherever you are right now is the perfectly starting place. Whether you want to start a new diet or exercise routine, or you want to eliminate toxic people in your life, just make the choice to start and you have already done the hardest part.

The only thing standing in between you and everything you want is you. Those thoughts in your head that tell you you're "too tired" or that it'll be "too hard" are wrong. It's easy to come up with excuses and just continue on with mediocrity, but who the hell wants to live a mediocre life? Start scared, start not knowing, start wherever you are. Take advantage of the present moment and create the future you've always wanted.

If you are unhappy with where you are right now start to figure out what you want. Once you know what you want start the journey to get there. Start with one step towards your goals. I know it appears daunting, but the destination will be worth the journey. For me, I want to start letting go and moving on. I want 2016 to be the year I start loving life and stop being bitter about past failures and disappointments. I want to start and never turn back.

Believe you are good enough to start over, because it is never too late to begin from scratch again. Look at yourself wherever you are right now and envision where and who you want to be. Start over, start to let go, start a diet, start to love, start whatever it is that will make your heart happy. Start now, what are you waiting for?

Love Always,
Olivia Jane,

I'm a huge believer that things find you when you need them to find you, and for me it's usually song lyrics. If you think about it, with every period of time in your life there is the music that goes with it. Each person has their own individual soundtrack to their life. There are different songs for different moods and different occasions. There's the music you scream at the top of your lungs in the car, the music that you dance to with your girlfriends, the music you listen to between muffled sobs under the covers, or the music you listen to on a rainy day. Music is the one thing that people everywhere can relate to.

I find that people are always attracted to the songs with the lyrics they are too afraid to say out loud. Every time I have my music on shuffle each song that comes on brings up emotions and memories from the time in my life when that song was important. Whether "Get Low" comes on and reminds me of junior high dances, or "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne comes on and reminds me of dancing around my room singing into a hairbrush, or "Let Her Cry" by Hootie and the Blowfish comes on and takes me back to 2AM tear-filled nights. Every song has some type of meaning an significance.

Music is there when the rest of the world turns its back. People can turn to music for comfort, fun, understanding, or just simply for pleasure. If someone shares their favorite song with you they are literally exposing you to every inch of their life. A person's favorite songs show you what makes them tick. Music is honestly so important because it can change lives. A single song can let someone know that they are not alone in this mess of a world, and that's pretty special. Music can bring you back to a specific moment in time and make you feel how you felt in that exact moment. 

Music also kind of reminds me of life. Theres a million different rhymes and melodies, different lyrics and beats, but each song is unique and beautiful. Music gives us our own personal life soundtrack. And much like life, every song has an end, whether it fades out of crashes away. But just because every song has an end is that any reason not to enjoy the music?

What does music mean to you?
​
Love Always,
Olivia Jane

The picture above is me and my friends back in the days of 7th grade. The days of awkwardness, Hannah Montana, and care free attitudes. Why am I resurfacing a picture from my awkward stage? Well, the other day my 7th grade English teacher asked me to come to my old school and help the kids in her class write their personal essays. It's strange being in a place with so many memories but you don't belong there anymore. I saw myself sitting in the desks, I saw glimpses of friends past walking down the hall, I smelled familiar smells, it all seemed like just yesterday but in reality 7 years have passed.
But what struck me most was what these 7th graders were writing their essays about. The essay prompt related to A Christmas Carol which they just finished reading, and it asked "what was an event in your past that changed your life?" Upon hearing it I was surprised such a deep question was being asked of these youngsters, but I did not expect the deep answers I read.

One girl wrote that the day she got her teeth knocked out was the day that changed her life. Ever since then she has been self conscious about her smile and refuses to ever smile. She told me about how she doesn't like to smile because she doesn't like the way she looks. That broke my heart honestly. She had an adorable smile to me, an outsider, but it just shows how our own self deprecating thoughts get the best of us.

I walked past another girl and glanced at the top of her paper and in big letters she had written "When I learned it's better to just give up." The fact that an 11 year old girl thinks that it's better to just give up it so sad. What is our world today that this is what kids lives are like? Looking back sometimes I know it feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is ALWAYS an end to the pain. Giving up is never the answer.

A boy wrote about the day his parents told him his dad was not his biological dad. He wrote about how he sat in the family counselors office anxious, but as soon as he heard the news he wasn't anxious anymore and he told his dad that it didn't matter because he loved him and that's all that matters. I was speechless that such a young kid was able to take such a complicated concept and simplify it. It's funny that the older we get the messier we make things, but in his mind all that matters is love, not DNA.

Another girl wrote about her cousin that died last year in a motorcycle accident and that now she has learned to be careful because you never know what is going to happen. I felt so terrible for her, but also happy for her that she realized to cherish life at a young age, even though it came from something awful.

I just found it interesting to listen to what these kids had to say and the lessons they have already learned. I remember being in that school and everything seemed like the end of the world, it seemed as though one day it would all become too much to handle, that with each step the weight of the world got heavier, but looking back it doesn't hurt anymore. People are so quick to think kids are dumb and disregard their thoughts, but honestly if you take the time to listen they could probably teach you a thing or two.

As for me, I think there's a lot of things that have happened that have changed me and taught me things. My biggest moment where life as I knew it changed was in 6th grade when all my friends turned their back on me and bullied me, it was the first time I learned what it felt like to be completely and utterly unhappy. I was alone and learned that people will turn their backs and leave you in the cold. But I also learned that it's okay not to be happy all the time, and I learned how to be strong by myself.

What event changed your life?

Love Always,
Olivia Jane

Today my friends and I went to lunch a few towns over because we were getting bored and restless. As we were eating lunch my friend made a joke about how one of us should go to the piercing place a few doors down and get something pierced. I said how I'd been wanting to get my cartilage re pierced ever since it closed up a few years ago, but that I'd never mustered up the courage to go again.

My friends were egging me on and insisting that I go get my cartilage pierced and I was like I'll go in and see. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a pretty indecisive human being and I do almost nothing on a whim. But we walked into the piercing place and the guy said can I help you, and before I could stop myself I said "Yes, I'd like to get my cartilage pierced." And then there was no turning back.

I didn't consult my parents, I just did something that I wanted to do, because I felt like doing it. And honestly it felt really amazing. How many things in life do you come across and just say "fuck it" and do them anyways? I know for me I usually waver back and forth, ask multiple people, and then proceed to worry until I make up my mind. But what kind of way to live is that?

Today I learned the importance of spontaneity. Sometimes it's good to do something out of character and bold. Making decisions spur of the moment makes life interesting and unpredictable. We all have those things in the back of our minds that we have been wanting to do, but for whatever reason we just continue to push them off. Do them, do them now.Quit worrying and thinking about the logistics of everything, sometimes you just need to be bold and never look back. 

Doing something spontaneously gave me a huge rush and was very empowering. I feel like these days everyone has their whole lives planned out by the second and if you ask me that's incredibly boring. Be impulsive every once in a while, step outside your comfort zone. I find that the impromptu decisions I make are often times some of the best ones. When you act on impulse you don't have time to second guess yourself or to go back and forth, you go with your gut in that moment. 

Obviously some things in life are best thought out and planned, but there is always room for a little spontaneity. Be daring, be unpredictable, be bold. Stop wondering "what if" and making up excuses. Do what you want and trust yourself. Break out of your comfort zone and your routine and don't be afraid of being a little wild sometimes. Some of the best memories and stories come from embracing your spontaneous side.

Love Always,
Olivia Jane

Dear 2016,
You are a beautiful clean slate, full of promise and possibility, adventures and experiences, and a lot of the unknown. This year long journey excites me, but I would be lying if I did not admit that this new year scares me a bit as well. I'm not one to ask for favors, but there are a few things I'd like to ask of you, 2016.

First off 2016, please, please be good to me. Your friend 2015 was not as kind, and I could really use a change in events. I'm just here on this Earth trying to live my life and do the best I can and things can get pretty hard sometimes. Let this be the year things look up and life is wonderful. I've grown and a lot has changed and somehow I have ended up where I am now, so could you please reward me with some good vibes this year?

Bring me adventure 2016. I don't want Netflix and chill and lazy Sunday's in bed. I want to travel and see the world, and explore everything that is out their beyond my little life. Take me out of my mind and into the unknown. I want to see places so beautiful that pictures do not do them justice. It's so easy to become trapped in your world, when there is so much more out there waiting to be discovered. I want to remember you as the year I stepped outside my comfort zone and never turned back.

This one is really important to me 2016, please bring me good people. Not the kind of people you have small talk with, I want the people who will stay up talking with me until 3AM about everything and anything. I crave genuine interactions with people who understand me and make me not feel so alone in this massive universe. Bring me people with warm hugs and people who make me laugh until I cry. I don't want temporary, toxic, people. I don't want people who are going to come into my life and take pieces of me away when they leave. No, I want people who bring light and joy into my life, people who make me complete. I have some pretty lovely people in my life, however the ghosts of years past have also brought some pretty destructive people into my life. 2016, can you be the year where people don't always hurt you and leave? Give me friends that will last a lifetime.

I know I told you to be good to me, but also be sure to make me stronger. Nothing in life worth having comes without a little challenge and struggle. Test me, but not enough to break me. Show me how to defeat what defeats me and how to fight off the demons. No one wants hardships in their life, but without the rain you never learn how to appreciate the sun. Teach me that I am stronger than I think and that I can overcome anything that comes my way.

Give me amazing memories, the kind that people write books about. Give me something to remember 2016. I want a year full of being young and wild and stories to prove it. Good times with good people is all I am asking for. Life is short and it's crazy to think how much time has already gone by, I don't want to waste it with mediocrity. I want to live a life I can look back on and reminisce in the good times. I want to remember you fondly 2016, and have the irreplaceable memories to prove it.

But most of all 2016, grant me happiness. Fill my year with bliss and allow me to fall in love with life. Show me what it is like to wake up every morning and be glad that I did. Pull me out of bed and expose me to the beauty that lies in each day. Make me laugh until my stomach hurts and teach me how to dance in the rain. Allow me to find happiness around every corner and pursue the things that make me happy. Do not waste my time with mundane days, give me something to look forward to. Be the year that I look back on and smile because you showed me what true happiness is.

I am smart enough to know that you cannot hand me all of these things on a silver platter my dear 2016, because I have to do my part as well. Change does not happen unless you want it, and I believe my years of stumbling and falling and getting to this point show you that I want it. I have a clean slate, an open mind, and a willing spirit, the rest only time will tell. So be good to me 2016, because I intend to give my best to you.

Love Always,
Olivia Jane